February 13, 2009

Life, love, and the pursuit

Posted in friends, inspirations, thoughts tagged , , at 12:05 by Stef

…and, unfortunately, death.

If you’ve read my other blog (now called “Where it’s @ !”), you’ll know that about three weeks ago, a friend of mine in Virginia passed away.

I found Steve’s obituary online last night. It included a picture of him, and he hadn’t changed looks wise from the last time I saw him. His hair was much shorter (it had been longer than most women’s hair when I met him) and greyer, but he still had his goatee and it was definitely the same man I worked with a decade earlier.

But, 47 is still too young to die, but Steve apparently accepted his fate and lived the rest of his life, however short it was.

The weekend after I learned of his death, I was walking down the street and just as I was going to cross Kelly at Danforth, a stray dog came up behind me and nudged me with his nose, then proceeded to cross Danforth, which was crowded with cars. I worried that the dog wouldn’t make it. He did and wandered off to destinations unknown.

I thought about the nose nudge for a couple of days afterwards. Maybe it was a sign, maybe not. Was it Steve trying to tell me everything’s okay now and to not be sad about his passing anymore? Was the dog crossing a busy street a metaphor for the trials Steve went through in his short lifetime. After making it safely to the other side, was the fact that the dog soon disappeared from my view a sign that his destination was nowhere I’d know about until the appropriate time?

This is speculation on my part, I know. I’ll have to ask Steve that someday… at the appropriate time.

That’s all from the Big Blue Couch.


January 26, 2009

Shame on you!

Posted in ruminations, thoughts tagged , , , at 12:46 by Stef

Shame on you Adrian Riley!

This person stole the post on this blog (Big Blue Couch) and posted it on his blog as his own without giving me proper credit or gaining permission from me. His blog is on Blogger and can be found here.

Apparently, Adrian Riley has done this to other bloggers on WordPress, as I heard from one of them via a comment on the Big Blue Couch “About” page.

If this has happened to you, there is something you can do. A man named Michael left a comment on the page mentioned above, and he said, in part:

I have been providing folks with two Google email addresses (Google owns Blogger) where they can file a complaint about this person. The email addresses are:



Also, if you visit this person’s site, you can click on one of the “Ads by Google” link, where you can file a complaint against this person with AdSense (there is no reason that this person should be generating revenue off of your writings).

In addition, WordPress has a “fill-in” form you can use to let them know that someone else has stolen your content. The link to that form is:


If you do file a complaint, be sure to include the direct URL to your post as well as the URL to the location is has been reposted.

Internet plaigirism will NOT be tolerated on any of my blogs, either the ones on WordPress or the previous one I have on Blogger. If you’re in doubt, see the page entitled “The Last Word”.

You’ve been called out Adrian Riley. I suspect your blogging days are numbered. Write your own stuff and don’t steal content from those of us who do write our own stuff.

That’s all from the Big Blue Couch

January 16, 2009

The sun always shines on TV

Posted in family, friends, ruminations, thoughts tagged , , , , , at 23:46 by Stef


Life isn’t what it seems on the outside. People put on masks all the time to show other people that things are not as bad as they seem, when in fact, things are as bad or worse than anyone realized.

I’ve been thinking about the people I went to high school with, and getting back in touch with some of them in the last month or so via Facebook. On the outside, it appears that everyone is successful, happy in their current domestic situation, have attractive children, and seemingly have everything that life has to offer.

Oh what they don’t know! Oh what they don’t know about me!

I have mentioned to the few who have asked that I have four children and that I’m divorced. Except for one (and she already knew because she remembers when I got married), no one has asked me who I was married to. Which I find strange because he also went to the same high school I did (but graduated 4 years ahead of me), and some of my newly re-connected friends from high school more than likely either knew him, or knew of him (thru me).

I don’t really mind though. I’d rather not rehash the past with people I haven’t spoken to in nearly 30 years. I don’t even like to talk about my marriage (and eventual divorce) to some of my closest friends.

Let those people think what they want about me. Whether it’s an issue from 27 years ago, or something now, I really don’t care what they think. I offer the olive branch. Whether or not the other person takes it is entirely up to them.

That’s all from the Big Blue Couch.

January 15, 2009


Posted in thoughts tagged , , , at 20:11 by Stef

The weather… not my attitudes.

Too damn cold if you ask me (and I know you didn’t…). If it’s going to be this cold, I think it should snow. For some reason, with snow on the ground, it doesn’t feel as cold as the temperature indicates.

It’s too cold to snow. Too cold and too dry.


My attitudes have greatly improved since last night when I was in a deep blue funk. I shouldn’t let my emotions rule me so much! I’m just so tired of the stress I put on myself; maybe even more than the stress others put on me.

I have to learn that just because someone does something that’s contrary to my way of thinking, it’s not because of me. Maybe that person is busy, preoccupied, listening to their iPod or CD player, or just not paying attention to the world around them. I shouldn’t take it as a slight on me.

I’ve always maintained that I get my best exercise jumping to conclusions.

That’s all from the Big Blue Couch

January 13, 2009

“Crystal Darkness”

Posted in thoughts tagged at 23:08 by Stef

This was the hardest thing I’ve watched in a long time.

“Crystal Darkness” is about the scourge of meth addiction. It was shown on a lot of the television stations in Oklahoma this evening, and there were watch parties all over the state, including at UCO, where I go to school. I chose to watch it at home, and I’ve never been so speechless. Meth is an equal opportunity life destroyer, be it the addict, their families, friends, neighbors, and total strangers.

I felt that this was so important that I’ve posted it both here and Stef’s Crazy Life. I encourage anyone and everyone to watch this powerful program.

That’s all from the Big Blue Couch

I’m older now and still running against the wind…

Posted in friends, ideas, risks, thoughts tagged at 01:01 by Stef

I touched on this briefly on my main blog (see sidebar for addy), but I wanted to expand on that idea a bit more.

According to the old bromide “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”, I see way too many people working so hard at their job(s) that they forget to actually live life.

This is a main reason I went back to school. I was working in a series of jobs where all I was working for was a paycheck and the one or two days off each week. I certainly didn’t enjoy the job(s) as much as I think I should have.

Now I can’t get anything full time, but with going to school full time, part time employment would be fine with me… if only I could find even part time employment. Is the economy so bad that even that is unattainable… or is it me? Am I the problem here?

What’s it all about? Living life, enjoying life. Yes, life would be easier if we didn’t have to work so damn hard for so little, but it’s challenges like this that make us stronger.

And, every so often, we have to remember to actually LIVE.

Live in the moment, as Chaz is fond of saying. Take chances. Run against the wind. Maybe the chores can wait for a few hours, a day or two. Maybe a two hour lunch break will recharge your batteries. Maybe you can delegate some of your responsibilities to others so you don’t burnout.

I’ve always lived life on my terms, because I’ve tried to live them on someone else’s and that didn’t work out so well. I’m ready to take chances, but not be foolish. I’ve had enough of looking foolish.

This is the only life I’m going to have. I intend to live it to the fullest, even if that pisses people off.

What are you going to do?

What’s it all about? I’d be interested in hearing your thoughts, if you’re so inclined, of course.

That’s all from the Big Blue Couch.

December 15, 2008

Thought this might help

Posted in thoughts tagged , at 17:35 by Stef

since it did wonders for my main blog.

I’m talking about alphainventions.com.

They take blogs and expose it to hundreds of potential readers and then they come by and read what you have to say. It’s simply incredible!

The traffic to Stef’s Crazy Life has simply exploded, and I hope that it will do the same thing for Big Blue Couch.

Go check out alphainventions.com and see what they can do for your blog traffic.

That’s all from where I sit on the Big Blue Couch.

I think, therefore I’m dangerous

Posted in friends, ruminations, thoughts tagged , , , at 16:54 by Stef

Now that the semester is over, I’ve been thinking about things that have nothing to do with school.

The Philosophy class I took this semester was not what I expected at all. I was very disappointed in the professor who taught the class. I thought it would be better than it was.

I can’t be all things to all people, even after more than a decade. I found an old friend online on MySpace. I sent him a friend request, and he saw fit to either ignore it or out and out reject it. We’d had a brief fling about 13 years ago, and I guess he holds it against me. I’m not the same person I was then, and I know he isn’t either. I have no agenda, I just wanted to get back and touch and say hell0. And apologize for anything I may have done to lead him astray.

Just today, I think I offended Chaz by asking him to help bail me out of a jam. I know times are tough, and I really had no right to ask him to clean up a mess that I made, but I really had no one else to turn to. I found another solution, and he’s going to help me out with part of that tomorrow. I feel bad that I may have strained our friendship by this, and I intend to apologize for this when I see him in the morning.

I read somewhere today that the hard times makes one appreciate the good times better, or something like that. I certainly hope that’s true, and that the money problems I’ve been experiencing the last couple of months (along with everyone else under the sun) will work themselves out.

It’s been a while since I last updated “Big Blue Couch”, and I’m going to try to be more diligent in updating it regularly.

Thanks for stopping by 🙂


October 13, 2008

Wow, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?

Posted in friends, ruminations, thoughts tagged , , , , at 09:22 by Stef

I’ve just been so busy with school, moving (my favorite thing to do… NOT!), and life in general that I barely have time to update my main blog, much less this one.

So, I’m rectifying that situation.

Since July I have:

  • packed up my assorted crapola
  • had a nice, yet interrupted, visit with someone I hadn’t seen in nearly a year, though he works less than a mile from my now former apartment
  • moved everything I own from Del City to Edmond
  • unpacked nearly all that stuff
  • got sick
  • went back to school anyway

There’s more, but I won’t bore you with the minutae of my existance at this point in my life.

I’ll try and get this more up to speed in the coming weeks. Fall break is this week, so maybe there’ll be more from me here during that time.

That’s all from the Big Blue Couch

July 25, 2008

Randy Pausch’s “The Last Lecture”

Posted in ideas, inspirations, thoughts tagged , , , , at 19:35 by Stef

Randy Pausch died earlier today at the age of 47 from terminal pancreatic cancer. He gave this lecture at Carnegie Mellon in September 2007.

In honor of Dr. Pausch’s courage, I’m posting the lecture from YouTube for all to enjoy. Fair warning though… it’s over an hour long, but if you’re anything like me, you’ll wish it would never end.

In heaven, Randy Pausch is no longer in pain. Condolences to his family, including his wife and three young children, who inspired this lecture. It was, after all, for them.

That’s all from where I sit on the Big Blue Couch…

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